Hit the Lights

       


       Most people prefer lighted areas, places that are bright. Somewhere that you can see your surroundings, and the people around you. It is how you know you are safe. It’s when the lights are off when you show who you really are.

       In the light, during the day, people see what you show them. You can be the perkiest person with the biggest smile, or the clown of the group, the arrogant buddy, or the helpful friend always giving advice. Nobody knows your secrets or pains or frustrations unless you show them. It is in the dark where you can you be yourself because nobody can see you or judge you. You can cry and nobody will see the tears streaming down your face and they won’t know that each tear that falls stands for something in your life that is making you feel the way you do.



       In my life I've had pain and happiness. More pain to be exact than most people I know have experienced. The pain of leaving home at a young age; having to grow up too fast and learning how to be mature; giving up my hopes and dreams and my own choices because they were never good enough for anyone; having everyone’s expectations laid onto me and feeling like I had to please everyone because their opinions are what mattered most; learning to be something I’m not because who I truly am and how I act is not the way people want me to be and I need to be like them to be accepted.

       Everyone has a tough life yes, but we make it that way. I prefer to live that way because honestly it’s all I can do. If I don’t I’m afraid of what will happen to me. What will others do to me the moment I chose to break free from their expectations and choices? I prefer to hit the lights. To live in the dark and be myself, and cry and laugh and smile when I want. That way only I see it and that way whoever is with me can see the real me and not a person hiding behind a simple smile.

       I know that God has a plan for everyone. Everyone has to overcome their own obstacles within their own time. It’s the fear of what happens once we overcome these obstacles that stops us from doing so. I live with that fear every day and with that I will never jump over that hurdle that lies in my way. My life is set in stone and I know that stone can only be eroded. To live with that pain in my life is to live with darkness. So I hit the lights every night and be my true self till the day that I chose to live in the light when I have moved on from my last breathe.